0
TATAY: Bagsak ka na nman! Ba't di mo gayahin si Pedro?
Palaging may honor.
ANAK:Unfair naman kung ikumpara nyo ako kay Pedro.
TATAY: Bakit naman?
ANAK: Matalino tatay nun!
-- 0 --
TANONG: Anong pinag-iba ng ulap at pubic hair?
SAGOT: Ang ulap kapag hinawi, ulap pa rin.
Ang pubic hair pag hinawi, langit na!
-- 0 --
GIRL: Mommy, bakit yung bird ng neighbor nating
kalaro ko parang champoy..?
MOMMY: Hahaha! Bakit? maliit ba?
GIRL: Hindi Mommy.. Maalat kasi eh!
-- 0 --
BF: Sunduin kita mamaya lov, bubusina nalang ako
kapag nasa harap na ako ng bahay nyo ha..
GF: Ok sige, anong dala mong sasakyan?
BF: Wala! Busina lang...
-- 0 --
WOMAN: Hello Doc? Si Mrs Reyes po ito.
Naiwan ko ba panty ko kahapon
nung magpa check-up ako?
DOC: Hindi po Misis.
WOMAN: Sigi po, baka kay Attorney ko naiwan, Sori po.
-- 0 --
JUST MARRIED:
Have sex all over the house...
A FEW YEARSLATER:
Only in the bed...
AFTER MANY YEARS:
Just pass by each other in the hall and say...
"F*CK YOU!!!"
-- 0 --
Do you know that God created gaps between our fingers?
Siempre naman noh!
i-try mo nagng mangulangot ng magkakadikit fingers mo!
Ewan ko lang kung may makuha ka...? GO.....!
-- 0 --
Sa isang barberya...
BARBER: Boss, subo nyo tong maliit na bola sa bibig nyo
para bumukol pisngi nyo at mas pulido at madali
ang pag ahit.
CUSTOMER: Ok ito ah! Pero paano pag nalunok ko?
BARBER: No problem boss! Balik mo na lang bukas
pag nai-tae mo na tulad ng ginagawa ng ibang
customers ko!
-- 0 --
WHAT IS COMMON BETWEEN THE SUN AND A PANTY?
1. Both are hot.
2. Both looks better while going down.
3. Both disappear by night.
-- 0 --
A good husband was asked:
DO YOU SLEEP WITH OTHER WOMEN?
He replied: "I sleep only with my wife...
with other women...
I'M AWAKE ALL THE TIME!"
-- 0 --
In New York City...
Mike Arroyo: How much?
Prostitute: $100.
Mike Arroyo: That's too much! How about $10?
Prostitute: No way!
(Next day, Prosti saw Mike with GMA)
Prostitute: See, that's what you get for $10.?
-- 0 --
Two dorm mates talking...
Guy1: Tol, astig dream ko kagabi, dinidilaan ko daw
pagitan ng boobs ni Diaba Zubiri..
Guy2: Hayop ka tol! kaya pala basang basa
ang puwet ko pagkagising ko!
-- 0 --
Alam mo ba ang advertisement dati ng TANDUAY RHUM?
"NAKATIKIM KA NA BA NG KINSE ANYOS?"
Malaswa di bah?
Paano kung gumawa din ang GRAN MATADOR BRANDY?
"NAKATIKIM KA NA BA NG GRANMA?"
Mas malaswa di ba?
-- 0 --
TOP 9 LIES OF WOMEN:
9) Di ko nagugutom
8) Wala akong ka text
7) I'm with my friends
6) Ikaw lang talaga
5) Di ako umiinom at nag yoyosi
4) I hate my ex
3) Wala na akong load
2) Virgin pa ako
1) I LOVE YOU TOO!!!
-- 0 --
When an apple is green..
It's ready to be plucked.
When a girl is eighteen..
She is ready to...
VOTE.
You dirty mind.
Election is near...
Vote Wisely..
-- 0 --
Somewhere in Tondo...
BOY: "Sinong matapang?!! Lumabas ang matapang dyan!!!"
Lalakeng malaki at maraming tatoo: "Ako matapang! Bakit?"
BOY: "Survey lang po.. O, yung mga duwag naman.."
-- 0 --
Do you know why BRA Makers measure
cup sizes by A, B, C, D, E, and F?
A - Almost gone
B - Barely noticeable
C - Comfortable
D - Damn good
E - Extremely big
F - Fake
-- 0 --
A song for our Honorable (DAW!) na
Congressmen and Senators,
Mayors and Governors:
"BOOM CORRUPT CORRUPT,
BOOM CORRUPT CORRUPT,
KURAKOT, KURAKOT,
BOOM BOOM BOOM!"
Palaging may honor.
ANAK:Unfair naman kung ikumpara nyo ako kay Pedro.
TATAY: Bakit naman?
ANAK: Matalino tatay nun!
-- 0 --
TANONG: Anong pinag-iba ng ulap at pubic hair?
SAGOT: Ang ulap kapag hinawi, ulap pa rin.
Ang pubic hair pag hinawi, langit na!
-- 0 --
GIRL: Mommy, bakit yung bird ng neighbor nating
kalaro ko parang champoy..?
MOMMY: Hahaha! Bakit? maliit ba?
GIRL: Hindi Mommy.. Maalat kasi eh!
-- 0 --
BF: Sunduin kita mamaya lov, bubusina nalang ako
kapag nasa harap na ako ng bahay nyo ha..
GF: Ok sige, anong dala mong sasakyan?
BF: Wala! Busina lang...
-- 0 --
WOMAN: Hello Doc? Si Mrs Reyes po ito.
Naiwan ko ba panty ko kahapon
nung magpa check-up ako?
DOC: Hindi po Misis.
WOMAN: Sigi po, baka kay Attorney ko naiwan, Sori po.
-- 0 --
JUST MARRIED:
Have sex all over the house...
A FEW YEARSLATER:
Only in the bed...
AFTER MANY YEARS:
Just pass by each other in the hall and say...
"F*CK YOU!!!"
-- 0 --
Do you know that God created gaps between our fingers?
Siempre naman noh!
i-try mo nagng mangulangot ng magkakadikit fingers mo!
Ewan ko lang kung may makuha ka...? GO.....!
-- 0 --
Sa isang barberya...
BARBER: Boss, subo nyo tong maliit na bola sa bibig nyo
para bumukol pisngi nyo at mas pulido at madali
ang pag ahit.
CUSTOMER: Ok ito ah! Pero paano pag nalunok ko?
BARBER: No problem boss! Balik mo na lang bukas
pag nai-tae mo na tulad ng ginagawa ng ibang
customers ko!
-- 0 --
WHAT IS COMMON BETWEEN THE SUN AND A PANTY?
1. Both are hot.
2. Both looks better while going down.
3. Both disappear by night.
-- 0 --
A good husband was asked:
DO YOU SLEEP WITH OTHER WOMEN?
He replied: "I sleep only with my wife...
with other women...
I'M AWAKE ALL THE TIME!"
-- 0 --
In New York City...
Mike Arroyo: How much?
Prostitute: $100.
Mike Arroyo: That's too much! How about $10?
Prostitute: No way!
(Next day, Prosti saw Mike with GMA)
Prostitute: See, that's what you get for $10.?
-- 0 --
Two dorm mates talking...
Guy1: Tol, astig dream ko kagabi, dinidilaan ko daw
pagitan ng boobs ni Diaba Zubiri..
Guy2: Hayop ka tol! kaya pala basang basa
ang puwet ko pagkagising ko!
-- 0 --
Alam mo ba ang advertisement dati ng TANDUAY RHUM?
"NAKATIKIM KA NA BA NG KINSE ANYOS?"
Malaswa di bah?
Paano kung gumawa din ang GRAN MATADOR BRANDY?
"NAKATIKIM KA NA BA NG GRANMA?"
Mas malaswa di ba?
-- 0 --
TOP 9 LIES OF WOMEN:
9) Di ko nagugutom
8) Wala akong ka text
7) I'm with my friends
6) Ikaw lang talaga
5) Di ako umiinom at nag yoyosi
4) I hate my ex
3) Wala na akong load
2) Virgin pa ako
1) I LOVE YOU TOO!!!
-- 0 --
When an apple is green..
It's ready to be plucked.
When a girl is eighteen..
She is ready to...
VOTE.
You dirty mind.
Election is near...
Vote Wisely..
-- 0 --
Somewhere in Tondo...
BOY: "Sinong matapang?!! Lumabas ang matapang dyan!!!"
Lalakeng malaki at maraming tatoo: "Ako matapang! Bakit?"
BOY: "Survey lang po.. O, yung mga duwag naman.."
-- 0 --
Do you know why BRA Makers measure
cup sizes by A, B, C, D, E, and F?
A - Almost gone
B - Barely noticeable
C - Comfortable
D - Damn good
E - Extremely big
F - Fake
-- 0 --
A song for our Honorable (DAW!) na
Congressmen and Senators,
Mayors and Governors:
"BOOM CORRUPT CORRUPT,
BOOM CORRUPT CORRUPT,
KURAKOT, KURAKOT,
BOOM BOOM BOOM!"
