After 50 years..
MARE#1: How is your sex life?
MARE#2: Well.. sa age ni pare mo,
BALAHIBO na lang ang tumatayo.
TUHOD na lang angtumitigas, at
MUKHA na lang ang nagagalit!
-- 0 --
WHAT IS SHOCK?
It is when a man is having sex with a pregnant woman
and suddenly..
a tiny hand grabs his dick from the inside..!!!
-- 0 --
Tatlong kumare nagkwentuhan ng kanilang experiences
about blowjob sa kanilang mga asawa..
KUMARE#1: Ang yagbols ni Eliot ko, malamig!
KUMARE#2: Oo nga eh! Kay Siano, malamig din!
KUMARE#3: Di pa 'ko marunong mag-blowjob eh!
Susubukan ko mamayang gabi!
(Kinabukasan, bugbog-sarado mukha ni kumare#3)
KUMARE#1 & #2: Mare! Bakit puro pasa ang mukha mo?
KUMARE#3: Pag blowjob ko kay Igme, tinanong ko,
"Bakit init ang yagbols mo? kila kumpareng
Eliot at Siano.. eh malamig?
Yun lang, binugbog na ako??
-- 0 --
BOSS talking to his secretary: You are not wearing panty today!
SECRETARY: Ang galing mo Boss! How did you know?
BOSS: I can see dandruff on your shoes!!
-- 0 --
BULAG at DULING magsusuntukan..
BULAG: 'tang'na mo duling, lumabas ka dyan!
wag kang magtago sa dilim!
DULING: ulol ka! Bakit ako lalabas eh dalawa kayo!
-- 0 --
SERMON SA MISA..
PARI: Ang kayamanan at pera ay maiiwan natin
kapag tayo ay namatay..
Walang may pera sa langit..
BOY: Nadinig mo yun Inay! Nasa langit na tayo!
-- 0 --
LIFE CYCLE OF A MAN:
birth-4month: suso mama
5-8: suso bote
9-13: suso daliri
14-24: suso syota
25-38: suso wife
39-55: suso GRO
56-66: suso pokpok
67 up: susowero na ng nurse sa hospital!
-- 0 --
THOUGHT OF THE DAY.
"If you believe in gambling..
in the end, you will sell your house..
If you womanize...
you will have to buy more houses.."
So.. it's better to womanize than gamble...
-- 0 --
The word "WOMAN" has "MAN in it.
The pronoun "MRS" has "MR" in it.
The noun "FEMALE" has "MALE" in it.
Another pronoun "SHE" has "HE" in it.
Even in French "MADAM" has "ADAM" in it.
It is therefore no wonder that "MEN" always want to be inside "WOMEN"!
-- 0 --
JOSE: ibe-break ko na ang syota kong mataba...
PEDRO: bakit naman?
JOSE: hindi ko na kaya, pag kinakain ko flower nya
tumataas ang cholesterol ko!
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