Here are three possible reasons why you might ask "Why am I still single?" One or two of them may apply to you, or maybe all three. Be ruthlessly honest with yourself when you consider them. You, like me many years ago, may have some "blind spots" that make it hard for you to see the truth of your situation. If any one of these strikes a nerve but youre not sure, get some objective feedback or ask a friend what they think so you can move forward.
3 Reasons you may be asking, "Why am I still single?":
1. Youre ambivalent about entering into a committed, intimate relationship with a man.
As much as you think you want a partner, you may find it hard to leave your comfort zone of being single. I know you dont think youre comfortable, but we tend to go for whats familiar. Ambivalence will prevent you from taking the emotional risks necessary to get close enough to a man to love him and let him love you. A Single Girls Wish List: 7 Must-Haves For Mr. Right
It will keep you from fully committing to finding a partner, and creates all kinds of sneaky ways to ruin your relationships. If left unchallenged, it will keep you falling for unavailable men or with acts of self-sabotage such as drinking too much on a first date. Ambivalence will make you believe all kinds of excuses and rationalizations as to why you havent met the right man, and it will keep you in a state of blaming rather than taking responsibility.
2. You make finding a man more important than finding happiness.
Its a cliche but its true: You cant depend on anything outside of yourself to make you happy. Believe me, if you tend to be a negative woman who always sees the glass as half empty, nothing is going to change when you find Mr. Right and marry him.
Yes, you might have a few months of intoxication when you are still in the honeymoon stage of the relationship. But soon, as the headiness wears off and you start to see the real man with all of his imperfections, youll no longer be able to get the "happiness fix." Your negative attitude will creep back in and youll be stuck feeling miserable again. Do I Deserve A Better Relationship?
3. You dont value yourself enough to set boundaries.
Every relationship you enter into requires some form of boundaries. Whether its your hairdresser, your doctor, or your mother, there are "rules" that are implied in the nature of a relationship. If you let people—men in particular—get away with breaking the rules you need to feel safe and loved, youll end up floundering emotionally and be full of resentment. 25 Dating Dos And Donts [VIDEO]
Boundaries, like discipline, create freedom. If you dont have standards in your relationships, youre at the mercy of someone elses bad behavior. "Why am I still single?" is a good question to ask yourself and you shouldnt be afraid of the answer. Facing what has been holding you back is the only way to move yourself forward to get the love you desire.
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