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Joke: A dentist goes out and buys the best car on the market...

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linung

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A dentist goes out and buys the best car on the market, a brand new Bugatti Chiron
It is also the most expensive car in the world, and it costs him $1.5M. He takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light.
An old man on a moped, looking about 90 years old, pulls up next to him.
The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, “What kind of car ya got there, sonny?”
The dentist replies, “A Bugatti Chiron. It cost one and a half a million dollars!”
“That’s a lot of money,” says the old man. “Why does it cost so much?”
“Because this car can do up to 250 miles an hour!” states the dentist proudly.
The moped driver asks, “Mind if I take a look inside?”
“No problem,” replies the dentist.
So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around.
Then, sitting back on his moped, the old man says, “That’s a pretty nice car, all right, but I’ll stick with my moped!”
Just then the light changes, so the dentist decides to show the old man just what his car can do.
He floors it, and within 30 seconds, the speedometer reads 150 mph.
Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror – what it could be…and suddenly…
WHHHOOOOOOSSSSSHHH!
Something whips by him going much faster!
“What on earth could be going faster than my Bugatti?” the dentist asks himself.
He floors the accelerator and takes the Bugatti up to 175 mph.
Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it’s the old man on the moped!
Amazed that the moped could pass his Bugatti, he gives it more gas and passes the moped at 210 mph.
WHOOOOOOOSHHHHH!
He’s feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him AGAIN!
Astounded by the speed of his old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Bugatti all the way up to 250 mph.
Not ten seconds later, he sees the moped bearing down on him again!
The Bugatti is flat out, and there’s nothing he can do!
Suddenly, the moped plows into the back of his Bugatti, demolishing the rear end.
The dentist stops and jumps out and , unbelievably, the old man is still alive.
He runs up to the mangled old man and says, “Oh my gosh! Is there anything I can do for you?”
The old man whispers, “Unhook my suspenders from your side mirror.”
 
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KatzSec DevOps

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linung Always upload your files sa
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linung

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One more:
A college teacher reminded her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow, I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A guy at the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have to write with your other hand wouldn’t you."
 
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linung

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And another one:
A sailor who has been out at sea for two months stops at a brothel. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, “I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!” The Madam is astonished. “But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my prettiest ladies and a three-course meal.” The sailor replies, “Listen darlin’, I’m not horny – I’m just homesick.”
 
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nekodog

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Haha
One more:
A college teacher reminded her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow, I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A guy at the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have to write with your other hand wouldn’t you."
ha nice one
 
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