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[SevenEleven]

(What it really means)
1 I think of you as a brother (What it really means)
You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing dude in Deliverance

2 There's a slight difference in
our ages (What it really means)

I don't want to play with my dad.

3 I'm not attracted to you in
'that' way. (What it really means)

You’re the most ugly bastard I've
ever laid eyes on.

4 My life is too complicated right
now (What it really means)

I don’t want you spending the
whole night as you might hear
phone calls from all the other
guys I'm seeing.

5 I've got a boyfriend (What it really means)
I’d rather spend the night with
the TV and a half-gallon tub of
Ben and Jerry's.

6 I don't date men where I work (What it really means)
I wouldn't date you if you were
the only guy in the country let
alone the same building.

7 It's not you, it's me (What it really means)
It's you!

8 I'm concentrating on my career (What it really means)
Even something as boring and
unfulfilling as my job is better
than dating you.

9 I'm celibate (What it really means)
Or I’d rather be than sleep with
you.

10 Let's be friends (What it really means)
I want you to stay around so I can
tell you in excruciating detail
about all the other men I meet
and have sex with.