What do you call a fish with two knees? A tuna (two-knee) fish!
What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
What does a house wear? Address! (A dress)
When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway!
What happens when frogs park illegally? They get toad.
Why are pediatricians always so angry? Because they have little patients.
Where do you learn to make ice cream? At sundae school!
What kind of magazines do cows read? Cattlelogs!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
How do you fix a pumpkin with a hole in it? With a pumpkin patch!
How do you spell “candy” with just two letters? C and Y.
What sort of room has no windows or doors? A mushroom!
Why don’t crabs give to charity? Because they are shellfish!
Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
What do lazy farmers grow? Couch potatoes!
How can you tell an alligator from a crocodile? By paying attention to whether the animal will see you later, or after a while.
What days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are week (weak) days!
What’s the leading cause of dry skin? Towels.
Why do cows have bells? Because their horns don’t work.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
